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I have been practicing family law in Oakland County, Michigan for over thirty years.  For many years when I first started practicing law, I encouraged people to get counseling and really work on the marriage before filing for divorce.  As time has gone on and I have gained experience, I have learned that this is simply not true.  If you start to feel that you should get divorced or that it is not working out, it is usually in your best interest to consult with a divorce attorney to discuss filing for divorce.  Unfortunately, no good deed goes unpunished in the family law arena, so the longer you stay married, typically the more difficult your life will be leading up to the eventual divorce, during the divorce and after the divorce.

How Soon Should I File For Divorce In Michigan?

Divorce is designed by the legislature to be a slow process and most divorces last between six months and a year, some last far longer than that.  This means that once you actually file for divorce, it may still be a long time before you can move on with your life.  Further during this process the other spouse can continue to stay in the marital home, deplete marital funds, make your life miserable and generally delay the whole process. 

There are many reasons that people start to suspect a divorce might be required but they spend valuable time waiting and hoping that the other person will change or be able to address the issues and move on.  Unfortunately, my experience is that people do not continue to get better as they age, they often get worse and more difficult or eccentric.  The following is a short list of recurring problems that I see in my office where people have stayed too long in the marriage.  The worst thing that I see is when a potential client meets with me to discuss filing for divorce and then five or ten years later comes back to finally file for divorce after spending so much precious time dealing with the same issues, being miserable and dealing with more financial problems.  This blog is written to briefly address some of those recurring issues that I see where people have made the mistake of staying in the marriage for too long. 

If you are dealing with someone that refuses to obtain employment despite their being no reason for them to not obtain employment such as where there are no minor children or they have grown, then the longer you stay married, the more likely you will have to be alimony (spousal support in Michigan) and pay it for a longer period of time. if the other person is refusing to obtain gainful employment, you have a serious problem that will only get worse.

If you have someone who has decided to make renovations on the home that never get done or they have started hoarding, that is not going to get better, it creates an unhealthy living environment and drops the value of the home.

If they are running up credit cards or spending money frivolously on unnecessary things, this is also a habit that will cause financial damage as you will be on the hook for half that bill when it comes to a divorce, so the longer this goes on the more likely you will be facing bankruptcy or paying half the debt when you get divorced.  Further, in most cases the other spouse will build up resentment toward you for trying to curtail the spending and you become the enemy, which results in them filing for divorce eventually.

If the person has odd eccentricities, mental health issues, is distant and cold or continually makes poor decisions, these are the types of issues that never get better from my perspective as a divorce lawyer.  While poor decision making can potentially lead to financial ruin or worse, dealing with someone whom is cold and distant or takes you for granted is another problem that is most likely only going to get worse over time.  

To sum it up, life is precious and short; spending time in a miserable marriage or in a relationship where you are the only working on making it better or supporting the family without help or worse while dealing with the disdain of a bad partner, there is no reason that you should stay married.  In fact in most instances where this is true, the longer you stay married to this person the worse off you will be financially when disaster or divorce inevitably comes to call.

If you have concerns about your own life as it pertains to your marriage, please do not hesitate to contact us by clicking on this link or calling (248) 608-4123.