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Michigan Family Law Blog

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Is Mediation Right for Our Divorce?

If you are going through a divorce in Michigan, you might be wondering about your options. You have seen friends or relatives go through toxic divorces that permanently destroyed relationships and hurt people deeply. If you want to do everything in your power to avoid such an experience, you might consider talking with a mediation lawyer. In some situations, divorce mediation is the best option for divorcing couples, however, certain factors need to be considered before making that decision.

Reasons to Consider Mediation for Your Michigan Divorce

Mediation can provide many advantages over traditional litigation in a Michigan divorce. Some of these positives are:

  • Preserving relationships. Just because the two of you no longer wish to be spouses does not mean you despise each other. Unfortunately, many people hate their former spouses after a prolonged court battle. A skilled mediator can help you both get through the process in a civilized manner, so you do not recoil at the mention of each other’s names.
  • Working together in the future. If you will have to deal with each other in the future, especially if you had children together, reaching an amicable resolution of your divorce issues through mediation can make it more likely that you will be cordial toward each other in the future. It is a tragedy when the special life events, like graduations and weddings, are ruined for both and you and even worse, destroyed for your children because you and your spouse cannot stand to be in the same room.
  • Transformative mediation. A mediator who uses the technique of transformative mediation will facilitate a process that heals dysfunctional patterns of behavior and changes the way you and your spouse interact and communicate. You can both vent and be heard. You can develop empathy and respect for the other person and see things from his or her perspective. People who successfully complete transformative mediation have fewer conflicts in the future, and often get along better than before the divorce.
  • Control over your divorce and your future. If you do not want to have some total stranger, the judge, make decisions that will control your family, finances, and future, you should look into mediation. The judge does not know you or your family. She can only make her best guess at what will work for your family. You and your spouse are in the best position to craft an elegant solution for your family.
  • Cost savings. Litigation can be prohibitively expensive. Mediation can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees. Be aware, however, that it is possible to rack up sizeable mediation fees if you take many hours of the mediator’s time.

Reasons That Mediation Might Not Work for Your Divorce in Michigan

Mediation is not for everyone. Here are some situations in which mediation is not likely to be successful:

  • If one or both of you view mediation as a way to browbeat the other into doing what you want, mediation is not a viable option.
  • If either of you is unwilling to compromise on any issues, mediation is likely to be an exercise in frustration.
  • If one or both of you are verbally abusive or violent, mediation is not an appropriate option.

Divorce and mediation involve complex issues. Contact Michigan spousal support attorney Cameron C. Goulding today to schedule a consultation and explore your options.

 


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